THE MEIN'S JUNE 2013 ADVENTURES

1. A WEDDING- So, I have 5 best friends: Rhiannon, Rachel, Allison, Ashley, & McKenzie. This June, on the 15th, my dear friend Ashley was married Salt Lake City Temple. I got to be a bridesmaid for the 2nd time! It was so much fun. I was able to spend some time with Rachel, and also see my beautiful friend Ashley get married. It seems like just yesterday we were driving Glen around the parking lot, ASL meetings, going to high school dances... And now we are both old married ladies! It was also special because DJ was able to attend with me as well, so we got to experience our own wedding day all over again in a way.

 

2. A BIRTHDAY- On June 22nd, I turned 22! I had an amazing Birthday weekend- It started on Friday with a sleepover with Rachel and Rhiannon at the Bennett's house. We watched "The Princess Diaries", had snacks, and partied! On Saturday, we had an English "Tea" Garden Party, which was a fancy lunch with my mom, Rhiannon, and my two sisters. We had my favorite pineapple banana punch, tea sandwiches, fruit, and cupcakes. After lunch, we went to see "Monsters University" with my DJ, my mom, sisters, brother, and in-laws. It was such a great movie! After the movie, we all went to eat at Sweet Tomatoes/Soup Plantation and met up with my dad. After dinner, we went home and I opened my presents. DJ got me an i-tunes giftcard, and some DVD's, and my family got me a Shark Steamer cleaning kit. I also got lots of cards, texts, emails, and shout outs for my Birthday! I felt very special!



3. A FAREWELL- Three of my best friends that I mentioned earlier are on missions. Hermana (Allison) Canova is serving in Texas, Sister (McKenzie) Cooper is in Oklahoma, and Hermana (Rachel) Harris is in the MTC now, and will be serving in California soon. I miss my friends with all my heart, but I'm also immensely proud of them. Rachel's farewell was on the 23rd, the day after my Birthday. She gave an amazing talk about being ready and willing to serve. I am so proud of her! I wrote her the first of many letters this week, and I ended up in tears! Rachel has been my friends for about 8 years now, and I have loved getting to know this amazing woman.



DJ and I have also gone on some wonderful amazing dates this month, movies, dinners, etc... I just love my husband! I'm the luckiest girl ever! We've also been apartment hunting, I signed up for classes at SLCC, and my kid brother turned 13 a week after me on the 29th. We have been loving the fresh fruits and vegetables of the summer season, I have an obsession with peaches and watermelon, and DJ likes strawberries and cantaloupe. We also have been enjoying the HOT weather with walks/jogs on the SF track in the evening, and a water fight yesterday when it got 100+ ..We've also been hitting up the library pretty frequently, and I just finished my 4th book of the summer and I'm on to my 5th that I hope to finish by Monday. And DJ has finished a few books as well, and has caught me up on some "classic movies". June has been a VERY enjoyable month, and we are looking forward to July! 

What Bullies Are Made Of

Dearest Readers,

Yesterday my post about bullies was met with an outstanding outpouring of support, and love, and general approval.

For the most part.

However, it was brought to my attention that some of my former bullies aren't happy about me sharing my story. They were even surprised to see that they, and their friends, were once labeled as bullies.

First of all, I want to say that my bullies were my bullies in the early years of my life. Since then, these men and women have grown up, and have, as I have, changed. I want to make sure that is understood that my post was not intended to discredit these men and women today, many of whom I'm sure are decent people.

Secondly, I want to make my definition of a bully clear. I "googled" bully, and this picture pulled up. And while this most certainly is one type of bully, it certainly isn't the only type of bully.

See the little girls gossiping and laughing in the background at the little girl who is sitting alone?

This also came up with the word "Bully"

A bully isn't always the biggest kid in the school. They don't always have bulging muscles and they aren't always the tallest. Bullies aren't always "dumb" They don't have to be un-popular, or come from a broken home.

Bullies can have long hair, short hair, brown hair, pink hair. They can have blue eyes. They can come from the home of a Bishop, or a CEO of a company. They can live in large houses, and wear nice clothes. They can be smart, and do well in school. They can be small, or short, male and female, in every color, in every religion, in every shape and in every size.

They can be sweet and the best of friends to you, but be a bully "on the side" they don't have to be spiteful, vindictive people. They can grow up to be good, kind people. A bully can be anyone.

Bullies don't have to punch you, or slam your fingers into your locker (Happened to me once in Jr. High)
Because, and this is going to sound a little lame-sauce, but WORDS CAN HURT TO. Bullies can use other forms of violence besides the physical. Things that sometimes can go unseen, because the damage done emotionally can't be seen the same way a broken leg, or bruised eye can.

My bullies may have only physically attacked me once, but the emotional damage was just as bad. The name-calling, the rhyming of my name "Taylor" with the word "Failure" wasn't exactly genius, but it did the trick. A lot of what was said went on behind my back, which may or may not have been for the best. I asked to play with the kids at recess. They told me to go away. I asked them if I could sit with them at the lunch table. They told me no. I stood up to give a book report, they snickered. I made one wrong move, I was the talk of the town.
No-one stood up for me. People who may not have been the main antagonists, still laughed along with the rest of the group and did nothing to reach out to me. Nothing to befriend me.

One simple act of kindness from someone at the school wasn't bullied, may have changed 10 years of my life.

I've been told that simply "Kids can be mean" and yes, I agree with that.
Don't I know it.

But kids aren't dumb. I will not discredit a child. Children have remarkable potential to learn, and to learn well. Children CAN be taught that bullying is not okay, that excluding other children is not okay. That making fun of someone just because they are different from you is not okay.

Kids learn many things schools. How to treat others should be one of them.

My kid brother and sisters go to school now, High School, Jr. High, and Elementary School. 
They've had run-ins with bullies, like we all probably have at some point, but nothing like what I had, and for that, I am truly grateful. In their schools, for the most part, people are more vocal about bullying. It doesn't get swept under the rug because it's uncomfortable. It's confronted, its dealt with.

Bullying isn't going to go away, possibly not ever. But, the more people who are aware of bullying the better chances we have of helping children have the best possible childhood, as bully-free as possible.

If you or someone you know is a victim of bullying, seek help! The best place to start is with a teacher, or principal. Know that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Build up confidence in yourself, so that others can't tell you who you are, because you already know. Don't focus on the lables, focus on you. Look around, and find the friendless.

 http://www.thebullyproject.com/

And if you see someone is being bullied, do the right thing and stand up for them.
Be that person. Trust me, it will do you good.

Overall, when I look back on my childhood, I see the good. I lived in a beautiful area, had a quaint and lovely home, clothes, books, and a backpack (I've since retired the 101 Dalmatians one, sorry Diane!) A wonderful mom and dad, siblings, and family.
I even had a BARBIE themed room for Pete's sake!! Pink walls, pink carpet, and a Barbie house that would even put Elle Woods to shame. YES, BE JEALOUS.
I see the crackling of the fire at Christmas time, and hear the record my dad would put on. I see my favorite little red-headed baby brother finally coming home from the NICU.
I see my baby sister, learning sign language. I see my mom and dad holding hands. I see the happiness in it all.

I'm not bitter. I'm happy. I'm not filled with grudges, I'm filled with joy.
My bullies have moved on, I've moved on.
Life is good.


 Until next time,

-The Mein's

A Story About Bullies

Dearest Readers,

Today, I was dealing with some things that hurt my feelings.
I'm a pretty sensitive person, so I have to admit that my feelings get hurt, a lot.
And in thinking about this, I began to remember the past.

And although my past isn't all that glamorous, I'd like to tell you a story about my past today.

A story about bullying.

I've never really written it down, and I'm usually pretty hush-hush about the whole thing.
But I believe that for reasons unknown to me, I'm supposed to share this story with you today.

As a kid growing up in the 90's, I was a fan of the jelly shoes, butterfly hair-clips, and Disney movies. I loved Barbies, My Little Pony, and Saturday morning cartoons. I listened to The Backstreet Boys, had a Lisa Frank notebook, a Nano Pet, and a glitter pen.

I was also a victim of bullying. 

And for nearly 10 years, I endured the bullying.

It started, to my memory anyway, in Kindergarten. When the other kids found out my best friend was a boy. He lived up the street from me, and was, in all aspects, my best friend.
However, girls and boys weren't allowed to be friends, come to find out.
And when I got to the doors outside the Kindergarten classrooms, I was suddenly surrounded by kids.
They were laughing, mocking, an becoming increasingly violent towards me.
Then Nick stepped in, and starting throwing punches (To try and save me, he told me- and I want so desperately to believe that, that I tell myself it's true..)
One of his punches found me, hit me square in the face and I fell to the ground, crying in agony.
I don't remember what happened following the attack. I don't even know if I told my parents. I do remember one thing though, I was wearing my 101 Dalmatians backpack.(Strange how our memories work, right?)

 
It was one thing after another from there. Too many things happened that I can't quite remember, and some things, I'm sure, were so painful that I've blocked them, and I've done a pretty good job of it.

I do know however, that my grades weren't good Elementary School, and into Jr. High.
It wasn't because I was stupid, like the other kids would say, or that I didn't try, like the teachers would say.

It was because I was afraid to go to school.
And I'm a firm believer that NO ONE should be afraid to go to school.

I was afraid to ask questions in class, for fear the teacher or other students would laugh at me.
I was afraid to do my homework, because I knew I'd get the answers wrong and the kids would laugh at me.

Then first grade came.
When my mom dropped me off, I cried. And rightly so.

My teacher Mrs. F, would make me stand on my desk and humiliate me in front of the class. She kept me in from recess for a month to sit in the office because I lost my "reading beads"....It wasn't until an aid walked me home one day, and told my parents, that something was done.

The teacher left the school, and I was moved to a different class.

At that age, I was extremely naive, I was extremely innocent. And I was taken advantage of. One day, a girl told me to "hold up my middle finger" and show it to the classroom.

And I did it, because I wanted to fit in. Because all the kids at my table told me it would be funny. They told me it meant something entirely different from what it actually means...

So, I did it.

The kids laughed, but my teacher didn't. She told me to come sit on the floor next to her desk in front of the class until my mom came. My mom was called. My eyes burned with tears. The kids continued to laugh.

The girl who pulled the "finger joke" on me lived in my neighborhood.
She was in my same church.
On Sunday, sometimes we would even sit by each other and learn about being examples of Christ.

I was in high school when I learned what the one-finger salute meant, and I immediately thought back to my first-grade experience and shuttered.

Elementary school continued.

I was teased for my choice in clothing, my haircut, my house, my height, my weight, my eye color, my hair color, my reading skills, my math skills, my art skills, the way I walked, they way I talked, my handwriting, my backpack, my hair-bows.
Pretty much, you name it, and I was teased for it.

Jr. High started, and I was still teased. I started to believe that I WAS stupid, ugly, all the horrible things the kids would say to me would flood back over me. I would cry every morning before school.

Then, my family moved--and things changed for me.

In High school, I felt safe and loved. I began to change for the better,
and mold myself into the woman I am today.
But it wasn't until I removed myself from the bullies that I was able to move on.
I don't know if the children who teased me even remember it. See, that's the thing. They probably
think we were all buddies together, and got along. But we didn't.

So, to all my former bullies, Thank you. It is because of you that I realized early in life, perhaps maybe a little TOO early, that life isn't fair. Life is hard. Life is dealing with things that are out of our control. Life is about moving on, it's about overcoming challenges, its about being happy even though you have little reason to be.

Thank you, former bullies, you made me tough. You made me realize that I need to be a friend to the friendless, so I am kind to everyone, regardless of their circumstances. I came to find that social standings don't matter. Race doesn't matter. Religion doesn't matter. Shapes and sizes of people don't matter. You did me well to teach me that. Thank you.

Thanks for the rumors you spread, thank you for forcing me to sit on top of the stairs at recess and look out at my house which was just yards away, and wish I was there. From that, I learned its okay to hang out with yourself sometimes, It's okay to be your own friend.

Thank you teachers for just passing me along, and never really taking the time to get to know me.
Thank you, because now I appreciate the value of a GOOD teacher so much more. 

Thank you to the kindly old principal, Mr. S, who actually DID care about me. I miss you.

Thanks to the few kinds souls I did know. To McKenzie, who sat by me in the 6th grade when no one else would. Thank you to Breezy who was my childhood pal, many a "Land Before Time" was watched at your house, and I appreciate it. Thank you to Madison, I still remember playing Barbies with you. Thank you to Nicholas, who was only trying to protect me. McKenzie, You taught me about friendship. You stuck by me, even when the others told you not to be friends with me. Breanne and Madison, even though we didn't hang out in school, having somewhere to go and someone to talk with after school, meant the world to me.

Thanks to my parents, to my siblings, to my extended family who were there for me through it all.

I am who I am now, because of where I've been. I learned to forgive and forget. I realized that like it or not, my bullies taught me life lessons. And I am grateful for them.

I survived 10 years of bullying. I'm in no way perfect, but I'm still going. I'm still me. I'd like to be a symbol of hope to all those who are being treated unfairly.

I'm not what my bullies labeled me as. I'm not stupid, ugly, and worthless.

I'm a friend, a sister, a daughter.

I'm Taylor.

I'm who God wants me to be, who I want me to be, and that's the way my life is now.

We all have trials and challenges in this life. May we meet them with the help of others around us, and work towards a bully-free world for all. And if in some small way, this post has impacted you, then I succeeded in what I came to do.


-Taylor



 

So Happy... TOGETHER

Dearest Readers,

Yesterday I was just having "ONE OF THOSE DAYS"

You probably know what I'm talking about. The days where nothing has gone right since you left your bed, and you wish life had a rewind feature, so you could just go back to your bed, and never leave it. YEP. Sounds about right!

Now, generally, I'm a pretty optimistic person and I like to say that I handle hard situations in life very well. But, I handle them on my own terms, and on my own time. And as part of my handling things, I cry. I feel hurt, even sometimes a little grumpy, and then, with time, I start to heal. I have bad days every once in a while, we all do. I have challenges and things that come up that make me upset.

I usually handle these things in private, only turning to the help of my Heavenly Father. But when things get really bad, I also reach out to my mom, my friends, and my wonderful husband. DJ knew I was having a hard day yesterday. And when we got home, he said "Okay, tell me what's the matter and we will talk it out."

("Talking it out" is my most trusted form of dealing with life.)

And so, I told him my problems, and he helped me work it out and then we made dinner together and went to the Spanish Fork High track to go on a short mile long walk/jog.

And half-way through the night, I realized I wasn't having a bad day anymore! And all the while I was thinking: "HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY?"

Seriously. I am the luckiest girl in the world! I love my husband a little more with each passing day. He is truly my better half, and I can always go to him and he is there. DJ is my greatest blessing in this life and I am thankful for him each and every day. I am so happy we found each other, that we have made it through so many trials together, and now we are stronger than ever before and ready to tackle life. I don't know what I would do without DJ in my life. I sometimes think if he wasn't here, a great part of me wouldn't be here either.

I am always happier, and more myself when DJ is around.

Somethings are just better Together.



 

 

-THE MEIN'S